Edited by Edward L. Ferman
Published 1981
162 pages
Read from May 8 to May 11
Rating: 2 out of 5
I had big plans for this month. After the hectic and exhausting move back in April, I had May penciled in for a lotta hiking (maybe I’ll crack 30 miles for the first time since 2020!), a lotta reading (maybe I’ll reach 20 books for the first time ever!), maybe even some writing! Instead (which should not have come as a surprise, given how my last move went), May has shaped itself into a recuperation month. I’m drained, not sleeping well, barely able to focus on anything. Plus I’m sick for the very first time since I began masking in public, four years ago. It sucks.
My attention span is a problem, especially when I’m not at 100%. Maybe short stories will help? (Spoiler: Not really.)
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“Mythago Wood” by Robert Holdstock. I first read this tale in The Secret History of Fantasy anthology. It’s a rambling, atmospheric postwar piece about the ancient wildwood and the folklore we place at its heart. It takes a while to get rolling, laying out each piece of information with almost 1920s-ish deliberation: here’s the narrator’s father, his parental neglect, and his obsession with the oakwood; here’s the narrator’s reluctant return home after the war, his brother’s descent into something like their father’s madness, and so on, long before we get to the mythopoeic meat of the story. Would I have been so charmed by “Mythago” if I had read it for the first time today, and didn’t have fond associations with it already? I’m not sure; I might have been put off by how thoroughly Oedipal the sons-vs-the-father conflict turns out to be. As it is, I was already fond of “Mythago,” so it was like revisiting a comfortable old friend. At the very least, it’s a superb example of early 1980s contemporary fantasy (which had an unfortunate tendency toward the Oedipal). I feel motivated to track down a copy of the novel Holdstock built up from this story. B
“The Gifts of Conhoon” by John Morressy. After “Mythago,” there are only two items on the table of contents I’m looking forward to, and this is not one of them. I’m amused that, in my review of the first Conhoon story I read, in the February 2000 F&SF, I observed the “early 1980s flavor” of the piece. Turns out I was more perceptive than usual! Twenty-some years is a long time to milk the “fantasy tropes, but silly!” gag. This one adds the punchline (if you can call it that) of “Women are great until they talk too much.” It doesn’t do anything for me. D?
“Not Responsible! Park and Lock It!” by John Kessel. I spent most of my childhood in a car, driven aimlessly around the American West by my delusional father. So this piece about a child born on an infinite westbound highway hit me on a weirdly personal wavelength. I always wanted to write a story literalizing that period of my life, but never have. Only partly related to that, I also want to play around in the subgenres of flivverpunk and car fantasy. This story, obviously, is not the one I would have written, but it’s unexpectedly creative, filled with clever details of a universe of car dads speeding forever westward. Midcentury gender norms make for unpleasant reading, but “Not Responsible” was published in 1981, and written with an eye toward the summer road trips of Boomer childhood, so it’s about what you’d expect. C+
“One Way Ticket to Elsewhere” by Michael Ward. This is a snarky technocrat story, in the midcentury “ex-NASA buzzcuts run the facility with clipboards under their arms” style. But here, thematically echoing “Mythago Wood,” the research is on a weird-horror “Elsewhere” accessed through the human brain. I don’t like this genre of procedural action story, though the weird-fiction angle helps it out a bit. There’s some imagery worthy of 1970s sword & sorcery: a “junkyard” of body parts; ravenous tubes that erupt from the ground at the scent of blood. But the weirder bits struggle to elevate the flat prose, undeveloped characters, and boilerplate plotting. Maybe C-
“There the Lovelies Bleeding” by Barry N. Malzberg. A thoroughly Malzbergian trifle about a couple discussing flowers and the hope of progressive reform of the wholesale slaughter around them. Here in the Biden years, it’s hard not to interpret this as a satire of liberal “reforms” that only soften the optics of violent dystopian fascism instead of addressing its systemic evils. Maybe C
“Indigestion” by Thomas Wylde. This had a mildly amusing premise: our narrator is the bathroom attendant on an interstellar cruise liner, and makes a little extra on the side hawking the excretions of one species as the drugs of another. But alas. This issue had managed (mostly) to avoid the full-bore 1980s-white-male-writers level of misogyny until now, lulling me into a false sense of security, so naturally it all comes pouring out here. Flush it down. F
“Dinosaurs on Broadway” by Tony Sarowitz. A decade ahead of the trend, this story is a precocious entry in the “dinosaurs as metaphor for modern disaffection” subgenre. Yuppie couple Sylvia and Richard have moved to Manhattan for Richard’s job. Richard now communicates exclusively in corporate buzzwords, while Sylvia, dislocated from Eugene, Oregon, struggles to adapt to the stresses and expectations of the city, losing herself in fantasies of Mesozoic megafauna. Naturally, I had hoped for more from this story, but it works fine for what it is. C
“The Corridors of the Sea” by Jane Yolen. Speaking of high hopes: undersea sci-fi from Jane Yolen! Alas, it’s an instantly forgettable technocrat piece. Gabe Whitcomb, no-nonsense press liaison, is concerned at the changes occurring in his friend, Dr. Eddystone, after the latter gets implanted with gills. A considerable portion of the page count is devoted to a press conference. A disappointing yawn. The most interesting aspect of the story is the barely-there hint that Gabe and Eddystone might be more than friends (which, I admit, I could be inventing to suit my contemporary tastes). D+
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All in all, a remarkably tolerable issue of F&SF from the 1980s. Contrast this one with, say, the December 1982 issue. This one is almost commendable in comparison.
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