2024 read #136: E.T. the Extraterrestrial by William Kotzwinkle.*

E.T. the Extraterrestrial in His Adventure on Earth by William Kotzwinkle*

247 pages

Published 1982

Read from November 7 to November 8

Rating: 1-ish out of 5

* Denotes a reread.

This was not the world I expected to be living in when I reread this book.

E.T. was a staple of my youth. Not the movie — this novelization. I found it in a thrift store when I was like 11 or 12, and while it never approached Jurassic Park or War of the Worlds on my list of compulsively-reread novels, I read it quite a few times. I read it so often, in fact, that as an adult, I didn’t realize I had never seen the movie until my partner R and I watched it last year.

I found it again last month in a used bookstore, and thought it might be a nice winter season comfort read. I imagined a cozy winter in our little house, secure in the knowledge of incremental social and economic progress under the coming Harris administration. Instead, here we are, right back in the raging shit river of the Trumpenfascist timeline. Instead of gentle winter blues, I’m fucking devastated, crying over everything, scared for the future. I’m so very tired.

But we keep going, because we cannot stop.

Anyway. This book.

I was surprised to learn that E.T. was novelized by William Kotzwinkle. I haven’t read anything else of his, though when I briefly contemplated reading all the World Fantasy Award-winning novels, a few years ago, his name stuck in my head as the author of 1977 winner Doctor Rat. The writing definitely feels like a literary fantasy prose-smith (or at least the 1980s idea of a literary fantasy prose-smith) signing up to cash a check. 

A bit of personal trivia: This book was my first exposure to Dungeons & Dragons, which is portrayed in all its Satanic Panic glory as a gateway to teen hooliganism, drugs, and depravity. Divorced suburban mom Mary frets: "Have I raised my babies to be Dungeon Masters?" I don't think it was intended to be as absurd as it reads today. Though maybe it was a satire on Reaganite family values pearl-clutching, for all I know. 

The book is grotesquely Eighties in other ways. The movie, wisely, leaves out the subplot of E.T.'s attraction to Mary. An actual line from the book: “How ironic it was that the willow-creature, the lovely Mary, pined for her vanished husband while in a closet, close at hand, dwelt one of the finest minds in the cosmos.” The straights should never be allowed to write anything monster-fuckery.

The film is also free of Kotzwinkle's Eighties-man-writing-a-woman flourishes. Every other sentence from her POV may as well be: “I’m horny and I’m desperate and I’d fuck the first man who looked at me, and also I’m a terrible mother who can’t stick to a diet.” There are a lot of jokes about roving perverts for a novelization of a kids' movie.

It’s like what America proved to be on Tuesday: a lot worse than I remembered.