Edited by Gardner Dozois
240 pages
Published 1999
Read from October 30 to November 3
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
That’s it, time for dinosaur fuckin’.
This issue contains Michael Swanwick’s classic “Riding the Giganotosaur,” which may or may not have been the origin of the present day’s dinosaur erotica trend, but was certainly my teenage self’s first exposure to the concept.
We’ll get to it. But first, what other lost Nineties wonders does this issue contain? The TOC is stacked with a who’s-who of late ’90s writers, so I’m moderately intrigued.
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“A Martian Romance” by Kim Stanley Robinson. I haven’t read any of Robinson’s Mars cycle. So why not begin at the tail end, as the terraforming project spirals into ice and abandonment? Robinson is enough of a professional that I don’t feel I lacked any information to enjoy this story. It helps that there’s remarkably little of what might be called “plot.” Eileen and Roger, along with some friends old and new, take an iceboat around the frozen seas of Mars. Along the way they chat about what the sudden freeze means for the future of terraforming, Eileen thinks about their past, and they learn a lesson about taking the long view of progress. That’s about it. The story is carried by the relationships of the characters and its pensive mood. I liked it — though, as ever, I have to note how absurdly optimistic these old Nineties futures tended to be, with people living 250 years and resources being thrown at terraforming just because they could. We’ll be lucky to live to 60 as serfs in a dying society on an overheated world. B-
A poem comes next: “When an Alien Is Inhabiting Your Body” by Laurel Winter. You can see the roots of what would become our contemporary speculative poetry scene here in the convergence of quotidian and cosmic, though “Alien” reveals its decade of origin at the end with a Lettermanesque groaner about suing McDonald’s.
“The Winds of Marble Arch” by Connie Willis. Leisurely novella about a conference-goer puzzled by a strange blast of wind in a Tube station. As with the enjoyable but plotless story from Robinson, I had a good time with this one, but couldn’t help but feel that the magazine was being extra indulgent for the sake of printing a Big Name. No mere up-and-comer would get away with thirty-five meandering pages of upper middle class mundanity in Asimov’s, now or in the ’90s. Willis, too, is a professional; the story works, aside from some repetitive passages as our protagonist goes back and forth through different Tube lines. She subtly builds a picture of an aging generation turning small and conservative and maddeningly complacent, repeating that everything’s “gone to hell” as they withdraw within ever-narrowing horizons to avoid their encroaching mortality. Too slow to be a personal favorite, but solid nonetheless. B-
Another poem: “The Dream Wave of John Scott Russell” by Howard V. Hendrix. It throws together dreams, wave states, fractals, and its namesake historic scientist in an extremely of-its-time brew, but it works quite well.
“Hothouse Flowers” by Mike Resnick. They loved stories of longevity science in the latter part of the ’90s, didn’t they? Aside from the mildly clever allegory attached to the title, this is a pretty standard gerontology number, nothing all that interesting except as a museum piece of last century’s optimism. (Also, this superficial and quite capitalist philosophy of “Without quality of life, what’s the point of being alive?” threw open the doors to the horrifying clusterfuck that is Canada’s MAID laws.) C-
A poem follows: “Down in Your Bones Only You Alone Know” by Bruce Boston. Rhymes. Kind of forgettable.
“A Knight of Ghosts and Shadows” by Gardner Dozois. Between Kristine Kathryn Rusch at F&SF and Dozois at Asimov’s, this was the golden age of editors putting their own fiction in their own magazines. I can’t even be mad about it, because at the end of the day, Rusch and Dozois both were solid authors. This piece pulls you in immediately, sinking you into precise sensory details of imagery and mood. It can get lost in the weeds of its own future history, but it remains mostly effective, serving almost like an endcap to all the go-to topics of late 20th century science fiction. Sentient AI, virtual reality, uploaded consciousness, nuclear war, genetic engineering, interstellar colonization, and the reaction against accelerating change—all get tossed into one big pile. Even quantum observation and wave collapse get name-checked. The classic 1990s Throw Everything into the Pot approach, but with a faint premonition that this would be the last hurrah for these naive, optimistic concerns. (Though that’s probably the benefit of hindsight talking.) Maybe B-
“In from the Commons” by Tony Daniel. Surreal piece about a single consciousness divided into discrete personas for space reasons. It could have been interesting if it weren’t both ickily heterosexual (the one female persona exists “for intimacy,” her raison d’être to be a fuck buddy for the male personas) and casually eugenicist (a repeated motif draws a parallel with how smart and well-mannered dogs get preferentially neutered by well-meaning owners, which… doesn’t even become relevant to the story, in my opinion). D-
Another Bruce Boston poem: “Beware the Werecanary!” It reads like an inferior imitation of Shel Silverstein.
“Green Tea” by Richard Wadholm. Had I read this story while flipping through this issue when it was on newsstands, it would have inspired my teenage self to write a welter of imitations. It’s a tale of deep space smugglers, illicit materials-science, exotic physics, and refined vengeance, set in a multicultural future of roughnecks and rough men. Reading it now, it’s enjoyable, albeit faintly ridiculous. (Exotic physics stories read like wizards casting big spells at each other, and are just as plausible.) Sometimes I miss that teenage impressionability. B-
“Proof of the Pudding” by Nelson Bond. Deliberately old-fashioned humor piece about an eccentric millionaire who tunnels through the Earth’s crust. Mildly amusing. C
“Riding the Giganotosaur” by Michael Swanwick. The only story I read when I found this issue on newsstands way back in the day. Twenty-six years later, it’s still the main event. It may not be the first “repulsive man’s brain gets transplanted into a giant theropod” story (“Just Like Old Times” by Robert Sawyer predates it by six years), but so far as I’m aware, it’s the best. Swanwick leavens an otherwise basic plot with lush sensory depictions of Cretaceous Patagonia. (Other dino fic writers so rarely make the effort.) And of course, who could forget the climactic mating scene? Truly, Swanwick walked so Chuck Tingle could run. B+
Yet another Bruce Boston poem: “Another Short Horror Story.” It’s another shrug.
“Argonautica” by Walter Jon Williams. A lengthy novella (62 pages!) retelling the tale of Jason and the Argonauts, set in an alternate history version of the American Civil War. There are so many ways this could go wrong. And sure enough, right from the start, it goes wrong in the most fundamental way: Jase Miller and his crew are Confederates. It’s well-written and well-paced, but I’m never going to abide unreformed Reb protagonists (or a white author’s main character throwing around the N-word). Sure, he’s more or less a mercenary, only out for himself, a morally dubious character who declaims any interest in the question of slavery. But I also don’t have to like it. D-
One last Bruce Boston poem: “Curse of the Reaper’s Wife.” Another shrug for the road.
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And that’s it for this issue! Confederate argonauts aside, it was quite solid. That novella makes up such a chunk of this issue, though, that it lends a stink to the whole business.
