Showing posts with label memoir. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memoir. Show all posts

Sunday, January 5, 2025

2025 read #2: bone by Yrsa Daley-Ward.

bone by Yrsa Daley-Ward
Foreword by Kiese Layton
145 pages
Published 2017 (expanded from original edition published 2013)
Read from January 4 to January 5
Rating: 4 out of 5

When it comes to poetry, I’m a dilettante. I only know my old circle of poets, plus maybe a handful of household names. My library has a modest collection of poetry books; one of my reading goals this year is to expand my poetry horizons.

bone is a mesmerizing introduction to Daley-Ward. Poems of love, of grief, of queerness, of god and violations too vast to outline, of negotiations within oneself to remain alive — all of them weave around one another, short stings of free verse that feel like the wisdom of aphorisms followed by epics hundreds of lines long. “Love is not a safe word,” she explains in “things it can take twenty years and a bad liver to work out,” then adds, “But it’s the safe things that kill you / in the end.”

Saturday, June 1, 2024

2024 read #61: Alive at the End of the World by Saeed Jones.

Alive at the End of the World by Saeed Jones
Foreword by D. A. Powell
87 pages
Published 2022
Read June 1
Rating: 5 out of 5

A haunting, jagged, beautiful, raging, joyful collection, as vast as the horrors of history and as intimate as the spots where we hide from our parents. A roaring rushing apocalypse of grief and violence and the maw of white supremacy devouring bodies and stolen land, an apocalypse of robots made to feel pain and white boys shooting up schools and Black folks’ songs stolen for white profit. The End of the World is in the phrase “essential worker.” The end of the world is everywhere, behind and beneath and ahead of us.

I throw around easy words like “staggering” or “astonishing,” but this book silenced my inner voice, left me open and wordless and awed.

Sunday, March 31, 2024

2024 read #40: A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson.*

A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson*
277 pages
Published 1998
Read from March 29 to March 31
Rating: 2 out of 5

* Denotes a reread. 

When I read this book at 16, way back in 1999, I was already fixated on hiking the Appalachian Trail. I had grown up living in the woods — or, more precisely, I had grown up on the road, which by age 12 had devolved into sleeping in the car in various parks and forests from the Adirondacks to the Cascades, from the Mogollon Rim to the Black Hills.

My father had, in his saner days, indulged in the Rocky Mountain High vibe of the ’70s. He harbored a glimmer of that even as he turned paranoid and violent with age, one dim spark of humanity lingering as he devolved into a monster. At one point in my tweens, he thrifted the February 1987 issue of National Geographic, which had the article “Appalachian Trail: A Tunnel Through Time.” I pored through it again and again, examining every photograph, imagining myself at this particular shelter, navigating that specific piece of trail, finding this certain wildflower. When I fantasized about leaving my father behind in my impending adulthood, it was natural that I couldn’t conceptualize anything beyond walking away into the woods. (I certainly couldn’t imagine integrating into human society.)

All of which is more depressing and confessional than what I meant to say, which is merely that, as an outdoor hipster, I was well acquainted with the Appalachian Trail long before I encountered this book on the Wal-Mart bestseller rack. For the public at large, though, I understand that A Walk in the Woods was a moment of discovery. It is often cited as one of the main reasons the AT became over-popularized, setting in motion what would ultimately become the “walking frat party” of the yearly thru-hiker bubble. (Browsing the shelves of used bookstores, where, to this day, 80% of the outdoor recreation section will be stacks of this book, lends its anecdotal support to this idea.) Like any treasured place, the AT was better loved when it was less famous.

All of that, of course, still lay in the future. A quarter-century ago, avoiding my father as best as I could from the passenger seat, I read and reread A Walk in the Woods with all the intensity of a religious text, a meditation. So much so that, like childhood staples The War of the Worlds and Jurassic Park, every word and every line is familiar to this day, which I wasn’t expecting when I picked it up again for this revisit. I had truly forgotten how much this book had meant to me, once upon a time.

That nostalgia gloss is an awkward reading companion today. Turns out I don’t really like Woods anymore. Living in a car, I didn’t pick up on Bryson’s casual misogyny. Most women who cross his path get lampooned: desperate, unattractive, fat, unintelligent, prattling, oblivious. The only men he caricatures with equal gusto are the Appalachian rural poor, because of course this book is classist as hell, too.

In general, Bryson’s humor feels stale and mean-spirited to me nowadays, reading like an uncomplicated normie sitcom from the ’90s: Everybody Loves Raymond, maybe, or The King of Queens, something with a lot of fat jokes and a scolding wife, with the character Katz as the larger-than-life neighbor who gets cheers from the studio audience. Sometimes Bryson indulges in moments of almost enjoying himself, but then it’s right back to whole chapters of complaining about fat people, hostels, mice, maps, gizmos, rain, rain gear, or the National Park Service. It’s exhausting far more often than it is charming. (In retrospect, it explains why On the Beaten Path would be published so quickly thereafter. Clearly, the publishers thought “cranky misanthrope on the Appalachian Trail” was a license to print money.)

Thursday, March 28, 2024

2024 read #38: Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard.

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
280 pages
Published 1974
Read from March 13 to March 28
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Classics of nature writing are haunted by the outlines of everything we’ve destroyed.

In the fifty years since Pilgrim was published, we’ve lost uncountable numbers of birds; insect populations have been in free fall; amphibians have collapsed. The very soil has become sterile, quenched by herbicides and pesticides. Where Dillard pondered the vastness of divinity and the cruel beauty of nature under troublesome clouds of starlings, you might be lucky to see a scatter of sparrows today. Most of Tinker Creek itself, Dillard’s “one great giver,” today seems a ghost watershed, squeezed between the culs-de-sac and fulfillment centers that sprawl out from Roanoke and the I-81 corridor.

The spirit of intellectual Christianity lurking throughout this book is also pretty much extinct. At least it is in America, where the loudest elements of the faith champion a skin-deep literalism, fully commercialized and dead inside. Atheism and Christlike Christianity alike are capable of transcendence, the ecstatic revelations of humility before the infinite; the greatest exaltation an American evangelist can know is browbeating a waitress on a Sunday afternoon.

At its heart, Pilgrim is a book-length consideration of the cruelty within nature’s beauty, a rumination on how any conception of a creator god must incorporate the blood-spill as well as the birdsong, the parasite alongside the petals:

For if God is in one sense the igniter, a fireball that spins over the ground of continents, God is also the destroyer, lightning, blind power, impartial as the atmosphere. 

From an atheist’s point of view, of course, the matter is much clearer, though no less awe-making. We are intelligent animals reliant on our deeply enmeshed social bonds; beauty (or rather the appreciation of it) is the newcomer, yet vital to us nonetheless, as vital as the sometimes bloody workings of mere survival. We are part of nature, inseparable, and that is glory.

I can respect intellectual Christianity, but it has died back faster than the insects have, these last fifty years. In contrast to either atheism or intellectual Christianity, contemporary evangelicalism presents a pop-up picture book understanding of the world, a paper cutout universe merely six thousand years deep, reducing us all to children play-acting for our abusive sky-dad’s jollies. Animals, plants, nature as a whole — all of it recedes into the background art from a Dick & Jane book. I can only imagine how many contemporary Southern Baptists in Dillard’s western Virginia would decry her spiritual masterpiece as evolutionist sacrilege.

I’m pretty sure Robert Macfarlane name-dropped this book in one or more of his tributes to the titans of nature writing past. It’s more than worthy of such notice. Every line jolts or shimmers with the mystery of language, scintillating or concealing in intricate patterns like cloud-shadow tumbling ahead of the wind. At least once a page, this book takes my breath away:

Some trees sink taproots to rock; some spread wide mats of roots clutching at acres. They will not be blown. We run around under these obelisk-creatures, teetering on our soft, small feet. We are out on a jaunt, picnicking, fattening like puppies for our deaths. Shall I carve a name on this trunk? What if I fell in a forest: Would a tree hear?

Like the best nature writing, Pilgrim is about learning to see; and, having seen, sensing how much else exists beyond our awareness. The present is elusive, recursive, a revelation quickly lost in other stimulation. I’m reminded of The Anthropology of Turquoise or A Field Guide to Getting Lost. A magnificent book.

Monday, February 5, 2024

2024 read #18: I Done Clicked My Heels Three Times by Taylor Byas.

I Done Clicked My Heels Three Times by Taylor Byas
109 pages
Published 2023
Read February 5
Rating: 5 out of 5

Taylor Byas is one of our greatest contemporary poets. Whenever I read her poems — which always find the flow and grace in even the most rigid forms, always mix wry observation with devastating revelation — it’s like a classroom. Her words communicate in ways that make me wonder if I ever said anything real in my life. Where my own poetry obscures my trauma and fears under sedimentary layers of jargon, Byas reveals truths in sideways glances, in moments of shattering clarity.

I Done Clicked My Heels Three Times is an exploration of growing up. Growing up on the South Side of Chicago, growing up the child of an alcoholic father, growing up groomed for childbearing, growing up in a society that doesn’t consider your body to be whole in and of itself. It is an exploration of a society that dehumanizes and demonizes Blackness.

It is also an exploration of religion and technicolor eroticism, of possession and loss, of navigating sexuality and relationships with men who also learned to view your body as theirs. It is an exploration of what gets taken away.

A running list of particular favorites:

The “South Side” sequence
“Blackberrying”
“The Early Teachings”
“You from ‘Chiraq’?”
Jeopardy! (The Category Is Birthright)”
“Yes, the Trees Sing”
“The Gathering Place — Grandma’s House”
“Wreckage”
“A Diagram with Hands”
“Cloud Watching”
“Dream in Which You Cuff Me to the Bed”
“Men Really Be Menning: On Dating”
“The Mercy Hour: A Burning Haibun”
“If I Could Love Life into Him”
“mother”
“Drunken Monologue from an Alcoholic Father’s Oldest Daughter”
“I Spy”
“The Way a Chicago Summer Comes”

Monday, January 15, 2024

2024 read #7: In the Land of Giants by Max Adams.

In the Land of Giants: A Journey through the Dark Ages by Max Adams
446 pages
Published 2016
Read from January 10 to January 15
Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Regardless of any intent (or lack of it) from the respective publishers, I feel this book functions as a spiritual sequel to Charlotte Higgins' Under Another Sky. Where Higgins traveled Britain in search of its Roman history, Adams paces around the archipelago to encounter its early medieval history. Adam even begins his narrative at Hadrian’s Wall, a fittingly literal symbol for the end of Roman Britain.

The “Dark Ages” — locally defined as the five centuries between the end of Roman Britain and the death of Alfred the Great — are dubbed such because of the lack of contemporary written sources and readily dateable artifacts (such as coins or inscriptions), which makes it impossible to draw together any real narrative account. In Giants, Adams leans instead into an experiential approach, journeying on foot, by boat, and sometimes by motorbike through historically laden landscapes:

What counts, on this sort of journey, is the sense of place, the passing of time. There is no better way to insinuate oneself into the Dark Age mind than to camp close to the ramparts of an ancient fort on the edge of the limitless sea and ponder the spiritual and secular worlds of those who built it.

Adams presents a nice mix of historical reference and walking adventures, the latter more diligently detailed than some Appalachian Trail memoirs I could name. It is, in many ways, reminiscent of Robert Macfarlane’s travelogues, such as The Old Ways, though Adams’ prose (while solid enough) never reaches the poetic strata of Macfarlane’s finest. However, the chapters where Adams describes riding his motorcycle instead of hiking are much less interesting.

Landscape archaeology fascinates me. It aligns with my own interests in nature and how human societies integrate themselves into (or else bludgeon their way through) ecological systems and geological constraints. I particularly enjoyed how Adams underlined the usefulness of place-names in reconstructing histories of settlement and land management. Sadly, landscape archaeology was barely touched upon during my undergraduate career, amounting to maybe a single slide during an intro course, likely a single paper during a theory class. I’d love to read more about it, especially something that grounds it in testable hypotheses rather Adams’ penchant for vibes. (Though to be fair to him, it would be impossible in our capitalist world to get the funds and workforce needed to excavate or even survey a fraction of the sites we would need to study from this book alone.)

Giants’ historical content is of the space-saving school that assumes you’re already familiar with the outlines of the period (or, perhaps, might be motivated to look up various kings and kingdoms on your own time). At least there’s a chronology appended to the end, though it could use more detail, especially with a time period so dimly known even to those who study it.

Thursday, July 13, 2023

2023 read #79: Birds Don’t Fly for Pleasure by Táíwo Hassan.

Birds Don’t Fly for Pleasure by Táíwo Hassan
25 pages
Published 2022
Read July 13
Rating: 4 out of 5

This slim but gorgeous chapbook is a concentrated document of grief woven after the death of Hassan’s twin brother:

to find yourself a grave            to house guilt & wonder
if this is the right soul for its weight
(from “The Nomenclature of Pain”)

Hassan refuses to flinch away from the helplessness of mourning, the stagnation of “moribund pools,” the weight in one’s mouth. “these days, i find myself fearing the rain,” is how he begins “some boys don’t wear colours of the wind,” then responds to his mother’s seeming acceptance with “perhaps, she hasn’t drowned enough.”

Water pervades Birds — drowning water, living water, the sweat and tears that constitute a body: “& in a split second, his / mouth isn’t an ocean anymore…” “i make a river and swim in it.” The unreality of loss, the dislocation of mourning, pulls back a curtain and reveals nothing to fill what was lost: “what if the laws of physics are nothing but dust, nothing but abstract projectiles and fading footprints?” Yet living itself is informed with the nearness of death, of fierce love clinging to whatever remains: “how long till butterflies seep out of this body?”

A running list of particular favorites:

“dear brother,”
“some boys don’t wear colours of the wind”
“Birds Don’t Fly for Pleasure”
“when i say i love you”
Ẹdúnjobí: A Love Letter”
“The Nomenclature of Pain”
“Thirteen Ways of Looking at My Mother’s Radio”
“Salat”

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

2023 read #78: Content Warning: Everything by Akwaeke Emezi.

Content Warning: Everything by Akwaeke Emezi
47 pages
Published 2022
Read July 11
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

A jagged, devastating, gorgeous collection on queerness, trauma, identity, finding the sacred in oneself. I think this is best read after Emezi’s Freshwater; many of Everything’s themes build from that book’s examination of godhood and self-destruction.

Many of these poems explore birth, rebirth, and holiness, godhood and cool river water. Others dig deep into abuse, the violence of those we should have been able to trust, rejection, bigotry. Mortality, shrinking, inwardness all recur; bodies are scarred, broken up, oiled or awash in seawater or fucked in grave dirt. The soul is refashioned, built from scraps of hauntings and butchery and the clothing abandoned by those who hurt us. Heartbreak and sexual violence are no mortal thing, but a shattering of the godhead. “salvation” promises us “even nightmares / can be maps…”

A pervasive motif is what-if: what if we had been able to live our own sacred-in-themselves lives, what if we’d had support, what if we could have avoided the traumas of our pasts. What if love could heal instead of destroying. What if we could just exist, or not exist.

It’s impossible to pick any particular favorites — but here’s a running list of mine anyway:

“what if my mother met mary”
“disclosure”
“what if jesus was my big brother”
“july 28”
“confession”
“‘but why did you feel you had to kill yourself, baby love?’”
“self-portrait as a cannibal”
“what if magdalene seduced me”
“ashawo”
“when the hurricane comes the men protect their brothers”
“i was born in a great length of river”
“self-portrait as an angel”
“mourning”
“self-portrait as an abuser”
“content warning: everything”

Friday, March 10, 2023

2023 read #25: Fair Play by Tove Jansson.

Fair Play by Tove Jansson
Translated by Thomas Teal
Introduction by Ali Smith
107 pages
Published 1989 (English translation published 2007)
Read March 10
Rating: 4 out of 5

A novel, a fictionalized memoir, a string of vignettes that reveal more in what isn't said than in what is. Like Jansson's The Summer Book, the stories here sketch the domestic joys and prickly squabbles of two characters pushing and pulling on the gravitational lines of their need for attachment and space.

Here, the central pair are based on Tove and her partner (or "companion"), the artist Tuulikki Pietilä. The two reside in separate apartments at opposite ends of one floor, share their summers in an island cottage, travel and gather into older age together. Their love is shown in silhouette around their cranky exchanges and need for space away from one another. To speak it would be superfluous.

As one would expect from Jansson, the imagery is precise as the shadows in northern summer, showing more than it tells.

Thursday, March 9, 2023

2023 read #24: The Living Mountain by Nan Shepherd.

The Living Mountain by Nan Shepherd
Introduction by Robert Macfarlane
Afterword by Jeanette Winterson
154 pages
Published 1977
Read March 9
Rating: 4 out of 5

I've wanted to read this book for years. I first learned about it in the works of Robert Macfarlane, who in all his books has been a tireless evangelist for The Living Mountain. Unsurprisingly, he appears to have been instrumental in bringing it back into print. Characteristically rambling and allusive, Macfarlane’s introductory essay insists on preparing the way for Shepherd’s words for almost thirty pages, including references -- nearly a third as long as Shepherd's entire text.

It would be difficult for any book to live up to that kind of fevered promotion. The Living Mountain, however, is an impressive book. The neglected human art of getting to know a particular place in deep, all-season detail, of finding new perspectives and new revelations in familiar grounds, of finding that Zen-like poise of bodily awareness of the elemental landscape, soars and floods through Shepherd's precise and beautiful prose.

I've never gotten to know a place as well as Shepherd got to know her native Cairngorms, but I've come close to that meditative natural transcendence often enough in the past that my body responded almost physically to her descriptions. It is a gorgeous book, equally at home with the transcendental writings of the early 20th century as it is with the modern British art of landscape essay. 

Sunday, February 5, 2023

2023 read #16: Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi.

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi
235 pages
Published 2018
Read from February 4 to February 5
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

I first tried to read this book way back in March 2019. That was a different world, four years ago. A different place in my life, a ring of time now long gone. I had just packed up my life to begin a new one in Ohio, promising my kid that his new step-parent and I would prepare a new home for him in a new state, that this would all be for the best, my then-partner and I relying on our years of daydreams to scaffold our tender new future, our unfamiliar try at family. Perhaps I wasn’t ready for Freshwater back then. I read maybe a quarter of it on my phone, tucked away in a corner of a library waiting for the mud to harden outside while my then-partner took classes; it made my head swim with its baffling, blood-mantled beauty. I put it away and forgot about it while I went through the motions of that new life, one fated from the start to shrivel into nothing but another change, another loss, another disappointment. I’ve learned a lot about myself since then, and the world itself has passed away and been born into a harder, more jagged and fragile shape.

Freshwater made sense to me this time.

How to describe what it is? It is an autobiography as a fable, a religious documentation of the self and and its multiples and madness, a metaphysical Bildungsroman. It is a poem pulled and stretched wide while still soft. It is a catalog of anguish and horror spun with transcendent words. It is grief on top of grief, adrift. And then, finally, acceptance.

Thursday, June 9, 2022

2022 read #28: Gathering Moss by Robin Wall Kimmerer.

Gathering Moss: A Natural and Cultural History of Mosses by Robin Wall Kimmerer
165 pages
Published 2003
Read from June 7 to June 9
Rating: 4 out of 5

Like Ellen Meloy's The Anthropology of Turquoise, this book is a collection of personal essays on a series of related topics, and not so much the didactic natural history book implied in the title. Wall Kimmerer's moss-linked essays are informative and personal in equal measure, using the personal to illuminate the scientific in deft ways. At times, like when Wall Kimmerer draws a link between the resiliency of mosses and the rhythms of human life, it's brilliantly moving; at others, like when she describes the efforts of some rich asshole to rip up an Appalachian hillside to create an artificial facsimile of an Appalachian hillside, it's perfectly infuriating.

There's a certain melancholy to reading books of natural history written so long ago. Unlike many books of this time (and especially books from the 1990s and '80s), Moss doesn't end with a coda of hopefulness. There's no inspiring epilogue to rouse us to fix the ruin capitalism has wrought on our biosphere. Instead, Wall Kimmerer offers two bleak ruminations on the destruction of the Pacific Northwest rain forest, which linger in the mind even as she caps off the book with a glimpse of the strange, hidden glimmer of Goblin Gold moss, making the most of its specialization for low-light environments. It's sad to think that our imperialist impact on the environment has only worsened in the last two horrific decades. But the magic of Goblin Gold seems like a fitting coda for our bleak times, a bit of light to cling to.

Tuesday, January 18, 2022

2022 read #2: Meadowland by John Lewis-Stempel.

Meadowland: The Private Life of an English Field by John Lewis-Stempel
294 pages
Published 2014
Read from January 9 to January 18
Rating: 3 out of 5

British nature writing, especially the kind that supplies deft insights into the tiny pockets of nature and biodiversity remaining in the British Isles, has long been one of my favorite genres of nature writing, largely thanks to the books by Roger Deakin, Helen Macdonald, and Robert Macfarlane. I had high hopes for this entry, my first book by Lewis-Stempel, and even put it as a suggested Christmas present on the list I gave my partner R late last year.

Despite its lovely cover and intriguing title, Meadowland is merely serviceable, an annual round of both natural events and the rhythms of running a working meadow on a small farm. With my Rust Belt background, for me the word "meadow" invokes a restored wild space, but Lewis-Stempel's more English definition is purely utilitarian: "A meadow is a place where grass and flowers are grown for hay...." While flowers and grasses (and birds and bugs and wild mammals) receive plenty of attention here, cows and sheep and hay-mowing receive almost equal billing.

At times Lewis-Stempel's descriptions approach the ecstatic wonder of Macfarlane or Deakin, but he also has, shall we say, a middle-aged obliviousness to more sensitive phrasing. He employs two casual Nazi metaphors, for instance, both utterly unnecessary and far more distracting than descriptive. I'm not so much offended as struck by how bizarre the choice was.

Sunday, November 24, 2019

2019 read #21: Resurrection of the Wild by Deborah Fleming.

Resurrection of the Wild: Meditations on Ohio's Natural Landscape by Deborah Fleming
182 pages
Published 2019
Read from November 19 to November 24
Rating: 3.5 out of 5

With a title like that, I expected this book to focus on a subject dear to my heart: the restoration and rewilding of landscapes and waterscapes. It turned out to be a series of essays, some published as long ago as 2000, all of them only vaguely connected by the book's subtitle. The overall theme is not rewilding so much as attempts to create a sustainable relationship between human beings and the natural world we dwell in. There are pocket biographies of John Chapman ("Johnny Appleseed") and sustainable farming innovator Louis Bromfield; there's an examination of how problematic and coercive Amish communities can be, followed without apparent irony by a wistful account of a young family building a counterculture homestead in the 1970s. Like a Midwestern answer to Roger Deakin's descriptions of Walnut Tree Farm, Fleming devotes a chapter to humble-bragging about the history and bucolic charms of her own farm, Wedding Pines.

Much of the rest of the book examines just how thoroughly factory farms, subdivision developments, strip mining, and horizontal fracking have destroyed the land, the soil, the water, the air, the landscape, human health, the natural world, and the future. "I did not think the human race worth saving," she remarks during a tangent about the missionaries who barge onto her farm. Far from resurrection, the impression Fleming leaves is one of defeat and erosion—the loss of our liberties to the wealthy few who keep county commissioners and state agencies in their pockets, a feeling of futility as urban sprawl devours more and more of the land. I've grown to appreciate and love the natural world of Ohio during these ten months of living here, which makes this book all the more depressing.

Sunday, September 29, 2019

2019 read #15: Underland by Robert Macfarlane.

Underland: A Deep Time Journey by Robert Macfarlane
429 pages
Published 2019
Read from September 24 to September 28
Rating: 3.5 out of 5

I've long placed Macfarlane in the company of Helen Macdonald, Rebecca Solnit, Ellen Meloy, and Roger Deakin, practitioners of the English language's most affecting and gorgeous nature writing in recent years. He has his moments of transcendence here, whether expounding upon the philosophical weight of the geologic past or the disorienting new realities of climate change, plastic pollution, and nuclear waste disposal. Despite that, I feel this isn't Macfarlane's best effort.

Underland flourishes when Macfarlane makes connections between disparate concepts, forming a coherent and powerful teleology of meaning for those of us adrift in the Anthropocene, such as when the "atomic priesthood" conceptualized by Thomas Sebeok, tasked with relaying warnings of nuclear waste into the far future using folklore and myth, disconcertingly mirrors the warnings in the Kalevala concerning a deeply buried cache of powerful spells and objects, which can only be approached while armored in copper and iron, and must never be loosed upon the surface world.

Oddly, Macfarlane's writing was at its worst when simply describing the scenery. Here he adopts a terse prose, clipped of its subject and flattened into present tense, a mechanical printout of sensory information without anyone to experience it. Perhaps this was a conscious choice reflecting the solastalgia of a world falling apart in our hands. Regardless of intent, it became repetitive and didn't match the fluent, beautiful nature writing Macfarlane has displayed in the past.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

2019 read #2: Notes from Walnut Tree Farm by Roger Deakin.

Notes from Walnut Tree Farm by Roger Deakin
Edited by Alison Hastie and Terrence Blacker
302 pages
Published 2008
Read from December 28, 2018 to January 15
Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Roger Deakin is one of my all-time favorite authors, though in his lifetime he only published one book (Waterlog) and finished the manuscript for one other (Wildwood). Not long after I read Waterlog, I ordered a copy of Walnut Tree Farm, a collection of Deakin's journal entries from his later years, collated and compiled into a single "year" of entries—natural history observations, musings on pollarding and sustainable uses of common land, mixed together with rather more personal entries on Deakin's boyhood, his loneliness and horniness living alone at the namesake farm, his crabby misanthropy toward suburbanites and women out jogging who don't respond to his hellos.

I held off from reading Notes for all these years, possibly because I didn't want to read the last published words to come from his pen. Having finally read his journals, I'm left with a feeling of knowing a little bit too much about him—that maybe I didn't need my image of Deakin the sensitive and perceptive eccentric who soaked up woods and waters in all the forgotten little nooks of England to be replaced with a more grounded, less ethereal image of a cranky old goat alternating between lustful fantasies and "things will never be as good as they were when I was a boy" conservatism.

Notes is a strange document, a posthumous publication of diaries never intended to be made public. It's full of lovely observations of the natural world around Deakin's farm and the adjoining common, arranged in a seasonal cycle, ending in a lovely and sad moment of shooting stars, which could easily have been purpose-written to serve as a coda for Deakin's life. But in revealing so much of the man behind the words, Notes can only make him appear more human, more fragile and fallible.

Deakin's diaries often dwell on the topic of how people no longer appreciate the natural world and what it has to offer, contrasting the modern suburbanized state with his own idyllic recollections of childhood adventures along creeks and in copses. One might question just how attuned most English folks were to natural cycles of subsistence during Deakin's golden age, but we'll leave that aside. I find myself interested in the conservative roots of conservation. You can catch a whiff of nativism in a lot of these lovely works of English nature writing, this idea that "the old ways are the best" for conserving the health and vitality of the English natural world. "People these days" (meaning urbanized people, technocratic people, often the agents from a central government body, sometimes immigrant populations) just aren't in touch with the real life of the hedgerows and little waterways, just don't understand how to manage land in harmony with the plants and creatures that share it.

I'm reminded of how much our American, Muir-inspired "wilderness" ethos derives from the proto-fascist Rousseau, and erases millennia of Native history and land-use practices with the words "where Man himself is a visitor and does not remain."

It's a troubling ideological heritage for us to unpack. Our species and our culture need to do what we can to ameliorate the massive extinction event we're inflicting upon the world, but we have to do so together—not by excluding "people these days," however they might be coded.

Monday, April 23, 2018

2018 read #11: Walking with Spring by Earl V. Shaffer.

Walking with Spring: The First Thru-Hike of the Appalachian Trail by Earl V. Shaffer
154 pages
Published 1983
Read from April 18 to April 23
Rating: 2.5 out of 5

It's been a while since I read a hiking narrative; the last one I completed was apparently in March 2016. Part of the reason for that is I've already read most of the ones currently in print. While you would expect the success of Wild to have cleared the way for a spate of copycat publications, I haven't seen any new ones in a while, at least none available through my library system. Maybe the more recent "classes" of thru-hikers have been concentrating their efforts on YouTube and Instagram, rather than dead tree publication.

As overexposed and overloved as all the big trails have become, there's a bit of a culture shock in reading early accounts of the AT. Shaffer's famous (and occasionally contested) 1948 thru-hike took him along a trail essentially abandoned, whole sections of it gobbled up by timber sales or lost to the broader dislocations of the war years. The conservation ethos as a whole was a different beast back then, with officers appointed by forest districts to eliminate natural predators. I'd love to see a thoroughly researched history of the co-evolution of the AT and of conservation principles in the American consciousness.

That hypothetical book is, of course, far beyond the scope of what we have here. Shaffer writes of his journey with mechanical descriptiveness, enumerating landmarks and meals and incidents of travel with only slightly more passion than a checklist. It is interesting as a primary document of sorts, but scarcely a classic of the genre.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

2016 read #76: Wind, Sand and Stars by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

Wind, Sand and Stars by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Translated by Lewis Galantière
229 pages
Published 1939
Read from September 30 to October 4
Rating: out of 5

On one hand, it is fascinating to observe the enduring themes and imagery of Saint-Exupéry's The Little Prince -- childish openness to wonder and imagination, the delicate beauty and sorrow of mortality, individual beings adrift about the universe on isolated planets -- anticipated here in his memoirs, arising from his experiences in the air and on the ground in the years between the World Wars. On the other hand, Wind, Sand and Stars precipitates the inevitable disillusionment that comes from discovering that an author was the product of his time, mummified in the same casual racial and gendered prejudices of his contemporaries.

Stars is most engaging when Saint-Exupéry is in flight, with his precise descriptions of night navigation and the upper wilderness of clouds suggesting the universe of tiny planets explored by the Little Prince. The closing chapter, a series of sketches from the Spanish Civil War illustrating his philosophy of that ineffable "Spirit," the sense of wonderment and awareness, that turns men into men, is effective stuff as well -- even if his philosophy is little more than a weedy patch of Romanticism, blooming late in the Modernist age, decrying the soulless world of clerks and factories and extolling the virtues of science, art, and rural peasantry. What sets Saint-Exupéry apart from most romantics (in my admittedly meager experience) is his esthetic and philosophical appreciation for invention. An airplane or a locomotive or a factory is merely a tool, its value or its worthlessness determined by how well it serves a man and Man -- and to what ends.

The language is, of course, purposefully gendered: Women, in Saint-Exupéry's proto-Hemingwayan world, are coquettes and objects to be won, hearth-tenders to come home to, beacons for the lost adventurers to find their way home. Observing two women fortifying a Communist roadblock in Spain, he makes sure to note that they don't seem to know how to hold their rifles. The chapter on "Men of the Desert" indulges in some colonialist notions, including a long description of the "contentment" an enslaved Senegalese man feels. I take that a tiny bit out of context -- the passage is part of a larger philosophical musing on the "crippling" effects of a "humdrum life" and captivity, relating to depictions of commuting clerks at either end of the book -- but the stench of colonial power pervades the entire chapter.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

2016 read #68: The Motorcycle Diaries by Ernesto "Che" Guevara.

The Motorcycle Diaries: Notes on a Latin American Journey by Ernesto "Che" Guevara
Translated by Alexandra Keeble
Prefaces by Aleida Guevara March, introduction by Cintio Vitier
175 pages
Published 1995; English translation published 2003
Read from August 29 to September 4
Rating: out of 5

My first exposure to Che was in a Hot Topic. It was 2002, and I was 19; having gone directly from an abusive childhood into the army, self-expression was still a new concept for me. One weekend, on break from training, I went with my then-friend to the mall, and after our customary Saturday Cinnabon I ventured into the Hot Topic, where I saw a shirt in a blinding shade of red, emblazoned with the cliched image of Che's face. I was struck by, but at that age unable to articulate, the fine irony of a symbol of rebellion and revolution commoditized and sold to teenagers from a franchise shopfront. That was my rationale for purchasing it over the protests and disbelief of my army friend (who would, of course, go on to be a racist conservative asshole later in life). Over the ensuing months, after my own political awakening, I wore it with proud new layers of irony on the army bases where I was stationed -- a further irony, one I didn't appreciate until later, being my own utter ignorance of Che.

Che himself, as a man and as a symbol, was someone I hadn't thought much about beyond that initial set of ironies. His existence, actions, and ideology seem to be crushed beneath the weight of Che the symbol. To the regressives of the world, he's a hypocrite and a war criminal, guilty of vast (and usually vague) atrocities; to certain segments of the ever-divided left, he's a martyred saint, his every word dissected for hidden wisdom, as in the hagiographic introduction to this volume. Not to get all "the truth is in the middle" here, but in this instance, I'm pretty sure the reality is not close to either of those extremes.

The Motorcycle Diaries is a fascinating introduction to the young man who existed before the myth, a polished and edited "journal" of a bumbling expedition, by motorbike and by hitch, across several Latin American nations in 1952. The formative effect this had upon young Che's outlook, priorities, and ideology are obvious, though kept mostly between the lines; Che's tight-lipped indignation at the appalling poverty and class structures he encounters are the most interesting, and affecting, sections of the book. The rest, sadly, has something of a superficial feel to it. Despite the editorial efforts of an older Che (or possibly others), it feels obvious that this was a young student's travel diary, its tone alternately flippant and philosophical -- it would be easy to imagine, say, a college radio DJ writing something similar today, after a summer spent in search of "authenticity." Like a college dude, Che drops casual bits of homophobia and racial prejudice -- though, equally apropos, we could say "Like any dude in the 1950s." The travel portions tend toward the repetitive, fascinating interludes abbreviated in favor of enumerations of hunger, bad drivers, sleeping in police stations, and caging meals from reluctant, or naively enthusiastic, strangers.

It's a shame that Soviet-style Communism, in its day, was as corrupt and oligarchic, as reliant upon hegemonic colonialism, as capitalism has always tended to be. Through his writings, at least, it seems Che was a genuine revolutionary, a believer in the ideals he fought and eventually died for. This edition's appendix, taken from a speech Che gave to Havana medical students in 1960, is flush with revolutionary fervor, with utopian visions of "the new kinds of human beings born in Cuba." Like Che himself, the balance between social organization and individualism is ambiguous, multifaceted, perhaps impossible to resolve -- and certainly too ambitious for me to tackle in a simple book review.

Friday, August 26, 2016

2016 read #65: Mountains of the Heart by Scott Weidensaul.

Mountains of the Heart: A Natural History of the Appalachians by Scott Weidensaul
266 pages
Published 1994
Read from August 24 to August 26
Rating: ½ out of 5

At heart I've always considered myself a Rocky Mountains boy. Born in Ohio, a mere two generations removed from the Appalachian plateau country of Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee, by happenstance my consecutive, autobiographical memories began when I lived in Colorado Springs, and much of my peripatetic minor years were spent in Colorado, New Mexico, and Montana. Just the other day I was reminded of how deep this connection runs, when I heard "Rocky Mountain High" for the first time in years and felt a visceral music-memory association with being 5 or 6 years old and feeling proprietary and proud that such a classic song would be sung about my home. 

I've lived in New York a dozen years now, and have resisted any sense of feeling at home here. (I live in the dreadful suburbs of Long Island, not the city -- a crucial distinction often lost on people from outside New York.) Yet all the same, since I began hiking the mainland hills about five years back, I've developed a creeping sort of fondness for the Hudson Highlands, the Catskills, the Kittatinny Ridge of New Jersey, a sort of pride in my orographic province, a pride I've become aware of only recently. The first time I realized this pride was while watching a hiking vlogger named Red Beard enjoy the Appalachian Trail through New Jersey and New York, and in recent months, planning and sometimes even hiking my own AT adventures, I've become positively fixated on the charms of "my" modest mid-Atlantic ranges.

Scott Weidensaul is an author I've enjoyed, from the hills I've grown fond of, and once I learned he'd written a natural history of the Appalachians, it climbed to near the top of my to-read list. His Return to Wild America was a minor disappointment, but here, writing about the high country he's known his whole life, Weidensaul avoids the tedious journalistic format that dulled Return and permits his unabashed delight for the trees, the birds, and the wild spaces of his native range to warm his prose. This book makes an excellent companion to Weidensaul's The First Frontier, a speculative history of culture contact along the Eastern seaboard, and reminded me at times of Steve Nicholls' exquisite, mournful Paradise Found. They form a loose, obviously unofficial trilogy of sorts, sketching in an archaeological and biological memory-picture of the lost, pre-Columbian magnificence of the Eastern half of the continent.

Weidensaul's science is of course dated (the last two decades have seen explosive progress in the biological sciences), and also not nearly as pessimistic as more recent natural histories (the last two decades have also seen an explosion in invasive pests and diseases, exurban sprawl, climate change, and other cataclysmic alterations of the natural world). In that sense reading it now is a bit like reading Tim Flannery's The Future Eaters -- it's hard to tell just how reliable some of its assertions may be. And as with almost all other popular science books, I personally found myself bored with the inevitable beginner's level explanations of everything from plate tectonics and ice ages to Paleoindian settlement of the New World (which chapter is, as one might expect, particularly out of date). In fact the geology chapter made me wish for an entirely separate book altogether, a thorough and readable geological history of eastern North America. Geology seems even sparser on popular science shelves than the other natural sciences, which is to say almost nonexistent, so I'm probably out of luck -- but a nerd can dream.