Sunday, February 5, 2023

2023 read #16: Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi.

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi
235 pages
Published 2018
Read from February 4 to February 5
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

I first tried to read this book way back in March 2019. That was a different world, four years ago. A different place in my life, a ring of time now long gone. I had just packed up my life to begin a new one in Ohio, promising my kid that his new step-parent and I would prepare a new home for him in a new state, that this would all be for the best, my then-partner and I relying on our years of daydreams to scaffold our tender new future, our unfamiliar try at family. Perhaps I wasn’t ready for Freshwater back then. I read maybe a quarter of it on my phone, tucked away in a corner of a library waiting for the mud to harden outside while my then-partner took classes; it made my head swim with its baffling, blood-mantled beauty. I put it away and forgot about it while I went through the motions of that new life, one fated from the start to shrivel into nothing but another change, another loss, another disappointment. I’ve learned a lot about myself since then, and the world itself has passed away and been born into a harder, more jagged and fragile shape.

Freshwater made sense to me this time.

How to describe what it is? It is an autobiography as a fable, a religious documentation of the self and and its multiples and madness, a metaphysical Bildungsroman. It is a poem pulled and stretched wide while still soft. It is a catalog of anguish and horror spun with transcendent words. It is grief on top of grief, adrift. And then, finally, acceptance.

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