A Particular Kind of Black Man by Tope Folarin
262 pages
Published 2019
Read from November 1 to November 13
Rating: 4 out of 5
This book was an emotionally draining read, but not for the reasons I expected. Going into it blind, without having read the jacket summary, I envisioned a brutal tearjerker about racism in America and the violence of the police state, assuming (in my white liberal ignorance) that every Black story in 2019 would be akin to The Hate U Give. Instead, while racism in America very much played a role in the tale, A Particular Kind of Black Man dealt with themes of family and identity, of mental illness and heredity, of coping with loss by editing the past—all things painfully personal and relatable for me.
It says something about my own internalized racism, absorbed from my upbringing and still visible even in my attempts to become a decent person, that I wasn't prepared to relate so strongly to a Nigerian American's fictional narrative. That's an embarrassing fact to have to admit to. I grew up with a schizophrenic parent; I was abandoned by my own mother at a young age; I've sabotaged relationships through my own insecurity. Turning each page was a challenge because of how deeply I cringed at Tunde's social self-destruction. I knew his story all too well; I didn't want to see it happen again, no matter how fictionalized.
I feel embarrassed for expecting a thunderous rebuke of state violence instead of a narrative with its own fully realized ends. I feel ashamed of how little Black fiction I've read. Owning up to it is one step forward, I hope: reading more is another.
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